First, an introduction. Awkward Turtle, this is the World. World, meet Awkward Turtle!
In the past several months here at Wong Fu Productions we’ve been secretly busy at work to make our vision of The Awkward Turtle a reality. Like very proud parents we are very pleased with the end result! Pre-order starts Dec 9th *updated* and we hope to have it available for sale on Dec 14th! *updated* Dec 14 – Awkward Turtle is now available for sale! Still enough time for those who need a last minute Holiday gift. We’ll be releasing more photos and information about The Awkward Turtle in future blog posts.
*update!* Awkward Turtle now available for Sale! Shipping has started! Follow this link
The Awkward Turtle Contest: The contest has ended, winners can be found here (link)
We are giving away 3 Awkward Turtles to the awkward moments that we (Wes, Phil and Ted) think are the awkwardest. If we like your story we might even shoot a reenactment!
Here’s what you do:
Tell us your most awkward moment! (make sure it’s something that actually happened to you because everything is funnier when it’s real)
More Instructions:
- Just reply to this post with your awkwardest moment and that’s it!
- Deadline to submit your entry is Dec 14th!
- Make sure you use a valid email address, because that’s how we’ll get in touch with you.
- All posts not part of the contest will be deleted.
Rules:
-
Limit to one paragraph or less (keep it short, no life stories or essays please)
- One entry per person
- Open to everyone
“Are you awkward, more awkwarder, the awkwardester…? Err. Let’s hear your stories!”
October 15, 2010 at 5:04 am
I was at Hurricane Harbor. I was on a water ride sliding down in a tube, when i got stuck. I guess there wasnt enough water running through and i didnt move through fast enough. If that wasn’t bad enough, when i came shooting out my top flew up when i hit the water. I quickly fixed my top and tried to swim as the life gaurd rushed to me. I guess since i was in the tube for so long the life gaurd thought there was something wrong with me. Everyone was looking to see what happened, so i faked that i was having a hard time trying to swim.
October 7, 2010 at 10:09 am
I have to get one – it’s so so cute!
September 25, 2010 at 10:27 pm
This always happens to me with every guy I liked I get awkward a lot. The other time it was the last day of freshmen year, I didn’t except to like this guy until he change his look and attitude. My friends and I were playing truth or dare. I picked dare. My dares was to go up to a police officer and say he is mr. clean, scream random stuff, and others. When my friends left, I was stuck with the guy and my sister. We went to borders and still laughing about the dares. I asked him can I give you a kiss on the cheek. I did and we look at each other. Yeah we didn’t talk about it for a long time like the whole summer.
September 8, 2010 at 2:04 pm
i was at disney world with my family and at the resort where we stayed, there was a swimming pool. so me and my brother went there to swim and whatever. i was minding my own business and was playing breath holding games by myself when my brother came up to me and ticked me under the water. (of course i didn’t know he was coming) i choked and couldn’t breathe for awhile and i got mad so i tried to get revenge. like the sharks in the movie jaws, i went deep under the water and looked around for a pair of pudgy legs in blue swimshorts. when i finally found one, i swam up to it and gave him a purple nipple. when i resurfaced, it was a middle-aged man with his young daughter! i was sooo embarrassed so i just stared at him for a while and mumbled, “sorry, i thought you were someone else.”
literally ten minutes later, i went down a water slide that led to the pool in a superman style when i realized that my bikini top fell off while doing so and was floating in the water 2 feet away from me.. hopefully no one saw….
AWKWARDDDDDDD & EMBARRASSINNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!
August 27, 2010 at 5:33 am
Soccer practice. Junior year. we were practicing on a shared field, so the girls team was training on half and the boys team was on the other half. serious proof that the world is against me? there was this really easy ball, like one that was moving practically in slow motion and it was in a straight line and just slowly coming towards me, i swung out to kick it cause duh, it’s an easy ball. my foot touched the ball, went over it and instead of the ball swinging forward to my teammate, i fell on my butt. IN. SLOW. MOTION. just as the soccer boys turned over to look. AND my ex boyfriend was amongst one of the few who turned around. awkward. awkward and embarrassing. because i’m captain of the girls’ soccer team.
August 4, 2010 at 10:42 am
So at my job theres a rule where if someone doesn’t put their name on their food in the fridge anyone can eat it. I always eat stuff in the fridge and when I find something good with no ones name on it i snatch it up.Well one day i found a fancy box but i didn’t want to take it because that might be something special or whatever so i didn’t touch it. A couple days went by and it was still there with no name on it and inside was a mini cake. So while no one was looking i ate it. Then like an hour late i come back into the room to mob the floor and my friend was going through the trash can. when she lifted her head up she was soooo pissed and the fancy box was in her hand. She threw it across the room and started saying stuff like. “They fucking ate it!” and “I hate people, I’m gonna start eating their food now!” I was so scared so i didn’t say anything and I felt so awkward because I knew i ate it and she didn’t
(she still doesn’t know but i still feel bad about it)
July 30, 2010 at 4:37 pm
OK when I as with my ex-girlfriend, one time she was sitting on my lap…so I took the chance to start to tickle her (she’s very ticklish) and so she keeps trying to get away and im doing my best to keep her put and keep tickling her. After a minute or so…….well…..after a minute or so of tickling her…I farted accidentally ( I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I HAD IT COMING!) and I stopped tickling her! So she looked at me weird with a face like “what the…”? I didnt say anything cause I was afraid she knew….so then for some reason I said..”You heard that huh?”….and she said….”nope”….but I know what happened now…She got off of me and sat far away…we didn’t say anything for awile…
July 28, 2010 at 4:48 am
omg I have this one really recent awkward moment, that my senior keeps teasing me about. D”8 haha and I know its past deadline.. but whatever.
My senior dragged me out for grocery shopping, when we were almost done, this cute guy entered the store.
So anyways, got into queue, and while waiting in line, with my senior in front of me, I asked her, “Is he a boy or a girl?” (meant it in a good way) and when she turned to answer me, she didn’t look at me, but just mumbled “Fruity!” I was like “..What?” and followed her gaze. That guy was standing right behind me.
I just kept staring at the ground after that. We went off to another stall, (where we thought we’d be safe) and started hyperventilating. He was… right behind me again. DD:
Yeah. Awkward all the way. :/
July 26, 2010 at 7:24 pm
One day when i was in third grade I had this huge crush on this guy named aaron but he was the brother of my evil classmate. anyways one day we were playing grounders on the play struckture and there was a bridge and while aaron would count to fourty I would blankly stare at him till he got to thirty five and then run. Unfortunately his bestfriend Talen rattet me out and from then on he will not talk to me which is fine becasue i no longer like him but still at a young age it was awkward!
Alyssa
July 18, 2010 at 5:54 am
It was way back when I was 13 there was this new kid in school and his mother was dropping him off, meanwhile me and some friends were compairing mustaches ( don’t ask why ). we were getting really deep into the conversation and then we rolled the conversation onto what girl has the most facial hair in our year I think you guys call it Grades over in America. What we didn’t notice was that the new kid and his mum were coming over to introduce themselves, but just before they came I said “man wouldn’t it be gross if someones mum had a mustache. The new boy and his mother had just arrived and were introducing themselves, but the mother stopped half and noticed me and all my friends gawping at her face she had the biggest female mustache I had ever seen and we were all mesmerized by it.
AWKWARD!!
July 13, 2010 at 12:35 pm
During the Summer when I was 9 I was chatting with my friend online and then I had a feeling in my butt but I wasn’t done posting something to my friend so I really had to post it before I went. When I was done I ran to the bathroom pulled down my pants a little. I put my hands under my butt just in case I wouldn’t “Go” in the hall ways. When I made it to the bathroom I felt something drop in my hand and I had a pretty good idea what it was. I was staring at myself on the mirror as if I saw a ghost ( sorta ). So the next 5 minutes wasn’t pretty.
July 11, 2010 at 10:20 am
So I was playing Twister with two of my guy friends, who are 5’10″ and 6’1″ (I’m a 5’1″ girl). Not a good idea, given the plot of Twister. Eventually I end up caught between them and we’re all tangled up, and just fantastically, I’m stuck on the bottom. The good part is that even after I fell, I was so pinned beneath them that I couldn’t even move off the mat, so I was stuck underneath them for the remainder of the game, which took a great deal of time. Awkward!
June 14, 2010 at 5:14 am
Ok so this has happened to me Alot of times so im a really awkward person.
Okkkk, So there is this guy that i like and everytime i saw him i’d act like i hate him.
So, we were sitting down , just eating, and i just had the nerve to tell him how i feel so i told him i liked him (we had an akward silence) Then, All of a sudden right when i was gonna ask him out, His girlfriend, which i didnt know he had, Kissed him on the lips and started holding holding hands with him, And I was right across the table from Them. (spit take)
Man, I feel like i got punched in the face. :[
April 13, 2010 at 10:46 pm
I entirely agree with the above comment, the world-wide-web is with a doubt growing in the most critical medium of communication across the globe and its due to sites just like that that ideas are spreading so quickly.
April 6, 2010 at 5:00 pm
I was staying at a hotel while on vacation, and stayed on the 24th floor. The view and everything was great, but the only problem was it required me to go through a riddiculously long elevator trip everytime i wanted to go up or down, with all the people getting on and off from the floors below me. On this particular occasion it was just me, and i took this opportunity to practice some of my awesome (not really) dance moves while i listened to my ipod. Being so wrapped up in my dance moves and jammin’ to “let’s Groove” like the dork i am, the elevator stopped and opened. It was too late, and the guy who got on totally caught me dancing like a moron (while lip syncing badly i might add). I immediately stopped i just hoped i’d get to my floor soon. As most teenagers do now-a-days in awkward situations, he got out his phone and started to text message. Being the creep i am, i slightly looked over my shoulder to see him type, “was some chick just dancing in here? im gonna pretend to text message…” It was so awkward I bolted at the next floor that opened.
March 29, 2010 at 2:34 pm
When i was in kindergarden i was a good singer and my teacher thought i should be the star in the graduation party and so i toke my chances and practice. I was so proud of myself until it hit me. On that day of the graduation I as pretty nervous singing infront of alot and i do mean alot of people but i was trying to keep my nerves down but it didn’t turn out so well. When i was called up to sing the Star Spangled Banner i just walked over and stood there like nothing happened. I was struck with fear and i didn’t know what to say. Turns out all i did for the whole intire time standing there was crying, but lukily i peed my pants afterwards when it was over >.<
even though that was what happen to me i still remember it today and everytime when I'm infront of the stage i remember that and try to not let myself doing that again even knowing that I'm way older now. That was my mose awkwardest moment in my life so far (=
March 28, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Just wanted to share. XD
Last semester I was taking the train home from school. While looking out of the window I noticed one of my professor coming in my way. Just my luck she decided to sit in the same lot. She was a very scary person, commanding and aggressive. Terrified that I would have to speak to her, I shut my eyes and pretended that I was in deep sleep. However the problem with that is I have a habit of eye flutter when I close my eyes and not sleep. About thirty minutes went by and I wanted to check to see if she was still present. I slowly peeked out of one eye, and to my horror she was looking back at me. Since it would be too obvious to close them again I pretended to sleep with one eye open. I did that for about twenty more minutes, before my stop. The timing for waking up had to be natural enough and not to early or late (otherwise I would have to talk to her, or miss my stop and wait for her to get off) When the annoucement came on that we had arrived at my stop I jumped up and ran out the door. Next day in class, she knew..
March 26, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Great info, thanks for the post!
March 25, 2010 at 2:27 am
When I was in the 9th grade I had a friend by the name of Lee. I found Lee on myspace and added him as a friend. As i went on myspace days later he and i started chatting as friends ofcourse. It was awkward that he was talking to me in a way that seemed like he liked me. He called me pretty, cute so on and so fourth. The funny thing was at school he never said or did anything like that to me. Ofcourse i didn’t like him like that but later on in my english class my friend edison asked me if i liked Lee. I said no because i only liked him as a friend, but my friend edison told me that lee said that we were in the “talking” stage. While at lunch i went to confront Lee about the situation knowingly at that time i had a boyfriend and wondered why he would say such a thing to me. As i was walking in to the cafateria I saw the bunch of asians. There i saw my friend lee and went to sit with them. I asked him about the situation on myspace (he looked very confused). Then out of no were this other asian guy said “OH, Im lee”. I was so confused and embrassed in front of all my friends. I thought the person i saved on myspace was my friend because everything i talked about he seemed to agree to and i would of swore i thought it was my friend lee. Edison was laughing and asked me about the whole situation and i had to explain things to Lee (my friend). and I asked the other Lee (who i didn’t know) about the situation. The other Lee seen me around school, he knew my name, thought i was pretty, knew i was in chess club and so on and so fourth. at that time at lunch my friend lee’s face turned so red. I stayed friends with everyone but this situation messed up my whole 9th grade year.
March 14, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Is it probable for me personally to abide by anyone on Facebook?
February 16, 2010 at 9:30 pm
This is not a late entry (sorry!) but, I wanted to pass this youtube video along to you all…not sure you’ll even see this, but…here’s Awkward Hand Movements by Sarah / Izumi (friend of mine)!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flSnfTDWvaU
January 11, 2010 at 1:22 pm
I know the contest is over, but I came across this site just now and thought it was hilarious! It also brought back a memory of a very awkward moment which -no joke- I had repressed until now. LOL. So, as a thanks for all the amusement, here’s my contribution just for shits n giggles:
Our co-ed badminton team was practicing one day, when this really talented senior guy came over to help me out on my serve. Somehow, being an uncoordinated newb, the plastic part of my shoe caught on the gym floor, and as I fell forward, I tripped and completely lost balance just as he lunged forward to catch me. On instinct, while my head was bent toward the floor, my arms reached out in front of me to grab hold of something, but unfortunately, the first thing I grabbed happened to be his privates!! Worst part of it all, he was wearing his verrry flimsy gym shorts, and I felt EVERYTHING! We both stood there staring at each other unable to comprehend what had just happened, and he just had this goofy look on his face. I was so traumatized, that I meekly managed a “sorry,” turned around, and walked straight into the locker room. The most disturbing part is, he later asked me out to an event!!! (But I said no.)
December 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I know its past the deadline but oh well
the most akwardest moment in my life (so far) was when we had the nurse come in our class & to talk bout sex & baby making which btw i’m a freshmen in HS. The nurse kept talking about oral sex & for some strange reason i decided to raise my hand & ask what was oral sex and the whole class stared at me like “i can’t believe she just asked that!” well she explained it to only me in front of the whole class with great detail i might add & yeahh…i shouldn’t have asked.
December 30, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Haha this is WAY past deadline but here’s a random awkward moment I had not too long ago:
My boyfriend was trying to persuade me (in the car) to let him carry me to the movie theaters. I kept insisting “no” because it was too embarrassing. And we kept arguing back and forth about it, until he stepped out of the car. I stepped out too, to avoid being carried. He yelled “STOP. DON’T MOVE.”
There happened to be a black guy right there, completely confused and perhaps freaked out, saying “What?”
December 30, 2009 at 3:42 am
i know the deadline past but i barely saw this and i wouldnt mind sharing and awkard story(:
So it was the day after christmas i was at my cousin’s house with my siblings and my sister had the sudden urge for Starbucks. But none of my cousins or their friends wanted to drive so we walked like 3-4 long blocks over there. It was really cold so i walked really fast, i walked so up ahead that the sound of their voices were gone, i turned around and they just stopped and stared at me. Feeling extremely awkward i continued walking backwards and suddenly i stubbled into a bush, hitting a tree and fell with my butt planted into the bush. I just sat there stuck in the bushes while they stared for a few seconds before busting out laughing. XD
December 22, 2009 at 3:00 am
i know the deadline already pasted but this is my first time seeing so whatever
i’ll post anyway
so there was this time i was talking to my guy friend on the stairs i was standing at the very top of the staircase and he was standing one step below so we were talking and talking and talking while my foot was playing with the edge of the stairs when all of a sudden i lost balance and i made a huge scene of falling because it felt like i was going to fall down the entire flight of stairs but i only fell one step leaving me shoulder to shoulder with my guy friend i had been talking to, there was such a long awkward pause after my fall that we couldn’t continue talking and headed in different directions.
that was the funniest/ most awkward thing thats happened to me in a while.
December 21, 2009 at 9:50 pm
(Sorry for the awkwardness. I tried to keep the story as “G” as possible ^_^)
I had invited the guy I liked to my house to study. We were both focusing very hard on our work. He had endless amounts of packets for his statistics class and I had tests for physics and calculus to study for. The room was really quiet and about 3 hours into studying and lots of soda, I really really had to use the restroom. Unfortunately, my house is made of very thin walls and anything and everything could be heard throughout the house. I was already subconscious that he could here me pee, but nature called. So I told him that I would be right back. Everything was going fine and continued doing my business. Oddly, a thought struck me. “My parents might be back soon. I better hurry and get back to my studies. I better speed up my business.” So, I was almost done peeing and suddenly… some air came out. “O.O” is exactly how I looked like. Thoughts like “did he hear?!”; “what do I do when I come out?!”; “should I say something?!”. I hurried and washed my hands. I came back, trying to be as suave as possible. I sat back down and 5 minutes had passed. He didn’t say anything, but eventually he busted up laughing. He knew =.=
December 19, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I was at this nearby clinic to fill out medical forms for a volunteer job at a hospital. Turns out my friend and his mom goes to the same clinic! I haven’t seen him for a while but we go way back. So I go in the doctors room for my check up and I do all the usual stuff like a blood test and all. The assistant gives me a container and tells me to go pee. A urine test?? The clinic is so small that my friend RICKY would see the container and the urine! So I tried my best to hide it with a paper towel but I think he saw it! Awkward T_T!
December 16, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I was going to a bar with my girlfriend one night.
As we approached the doors, security carded us as we should.
The insanely large security man began picking at my ID checking to see if its fake. As the silent seconds chugged by, I started feeling a bit nervous and intimidated. His mean-looking persona creates more anxiety. My mind goes completely blank.
The man kept looking at me, and then at the ID.
Security Man: “So how old are you?”
Me: “Uhh, 21″
*awkward pause*
Security Man: “Again, how old are you?”
Me: “tw-twenty one!”
*longer awkward pause*
Security Man: “You’re 22, bro.” Hands back ID.
Ultimate fail.
December 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I went out to eat with a friend and we took a cab back to his house. His parents had left without telling us and the door was locked. He called his mom and she told us to go to one of the apartments upstairs where one of her friends was. My friend is a Korean, and so his mother’s friend is Korean too, but she only spoke Korean and so did her whole family. When we got there they brought us in and gave us a whole bowl of hot ramen. It was really bad manners to reject it but I was stuffed from dinner. I had to force it down and then they brought more food, but I couldn’t say no! The whole time was in awkward silence because we couldn’t communicate, though my friend knows Korean he didn’t know what to say because elder Asians can be kinda intimidating sometimes. They were like “here, eat” and I’m bowing my head saying thank you’s though I was about to be sick. His mom was stuck in traffic so we where there for hours which felt like an eternity. Later they took is to the living room where they all watched Korean dramas. I couldn’t understand anything but pretended to be really focused because it was too embarrassing to look at anyone. They had a son, about 25 years old who kept on shooting glances at the “non-Korean” in the room… meaning me. There was a very very long persisting silence…
When we finally got back to my friend’s place I was quiet because the awkward feeling never left me. His mom kept on apologizing for putting me in that situation.
December 16, 2009 at 8:31 am
the dining hall served a really weird dish that didn’t agree with my stomach. So i had some really bad smelling gas. Later that night my RA busted into my room because he thought i was smoking something.
June 8, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Hey benji, I’ve heard this story before.
December 16, 2009 at 2:25 am
(I don’t see this posted so I’m trying to submit it again)
lol..I know the deadline has past already but I just had to share my story ^_^ (its more of an embarrassing story but was still awkward..)
it was during my sophmore year in highschool, the rip age where we all fall in love and are interested in the opposite sex, the time where every minute is crucial!!
well this is where my story begins,
One day, while walking with my love interest to his ride (his mother had to pick him up since he didn’t know how to yet), I was so oblivious to everything around me that I began to forget what I was doing. I was saying my good-byes and saying how I would be seeing him tomorrow when I made the biggest mistake of my life.
While I had been trying to act kool by walking backwards and talking at the same time, I had not realized that I had backed up so much that my back was towards a tree (only a inch away from it). I actually did not know it until I swung forward and the tip of my noise touched the tree trunk. I was so embarrassed about it, but tried to play it kool and walked around it, making it seem as if nothing had gone wrong.
I than began to contemplate if he had actually seen what had happened. I actually convinced myself that he would not had been able to see it, concidering how fast I had been able to avoid it and play if off. (Going through all the math equations and logic of our eye perceptions ^^)
I did not think much about it until the very next day. I met up with him before class and guess what he asked me, “Um…my mom AND sister were wondering if you ran into a tree yesturday when they were picking me up after school? I did not see it but did it happed?”
(What was I to say, I mean this was the guy I liked and it was so embarrassing, but I did not want to lie about it since BOTH his mom and sister had already seen it with their own eyes!)
awkwardly I said..”um….*cough*..*looking at the ground now, scratching my head*..well,..kind of,..sort of,…I did not exactly run into the tree but yeah?…*hehe..sacarcastically*…*faking a laugh* ^^..
all he said was..”Oh!”
I mean that’s all that he had to say! I guess there was nothing else to say about it and concidering how awkward I was feeling right then. Thank goodness the bell rang for class to start! I guess I was glad to had been “SAVED BY THE BELL!!”
December 16, 2009 at 2:22 am
lol..I know the deadline has past already but I just had to share my story ^_^ (its more of an embarrassing story but was still awkward..)
it was during my sophmore year in highschool, the rip age where we all fall in love and are interested in the opposite sex, the time where every minute is crucial!!
well this is where my story begins,
One day, while walking with my love interest to his ride (his mother had to pick him up since he didn’t know how to yet), I was so oblivious to everything around me that I began to forget what I was doing. I was saying my good-byes and saying how I would be seeing him tomorrow when I made the biggest mistake of my life.
While I had been trying to act kool by walking backwards and talking at the same time, I had not realized that I had backed up so much that my back was towards a tree (only a inch away from it). I actually did not know it until I swung forward and the tip of my noise touched the tree trunk. I was so embarrassed about it, but tried to play it kool and walked around it, making it seem as if nothing had gone wrong.
I than began to contemplate if he had actually seen what had happened. I actually convinced myself that he would not had been able to see it, concidering how fast I had been able to avoid it and play if off. (Going through all the math equations and logic of our eye perceptions ^^)
I did not think much about it until the very next day. I met up with him before class and guess what he asked me, “Um…my mom AND sister were wondering if you ran into a tree yesturday when they were picking me up after school? I did not see it but did it happed?”
(What was I to say, I mean this was the guy I liked and it was so embarrassing, but I did not want to lie about it since BOTH his mom and sister had already seen it with their own eyes!)
awkwardly I said..”um….*cough*..*looking at the ground now, scratching my head*..well,..kind of,..sort of,…I did not exactly run into the tree but yeah?…*hehe..sacarcastically*…*faking a laugh* ^^..
all he said was..”Oh!”
I mean that’s all that he had to say! I guess there was nothing else to say about it and concidering how awkward I was feeling right then. Thank goodness the bell rang for class to start! I guess I was glad to had been “SAVED BY THE BELL!!”
December 16, 2009 at 1:43 am
This one time during college, there was a meteor shower really early in the morning like around 1 am, so I went outside to the lawn in front of my dorm to go watch. While I was waiting for the meteors to fly across the sky, I met this random girl from other dorm building who was also outside watching. We talked a little bit, but not much. I wasn’t really interested in talking to her. After a while, I was like “dang, it’s cold” cause it was like 1 am and we were outside. And then that random girl, the one I JUST MET like 20 minutes ago, decides to reach over and hold my hand. And I was thinking like “what the….” O_O i was really uncomfortable cause i just met her and she was HOLDING MY HAND. so i was like “oh…that’s warm” and then pulled my hand away. And then she sort of mumbled something and then held my hand AGAIN! And i was like O_O again. After a second or so, I was like “um…no, thanks.” and pulled my hand away again. After a little while, I was like “well i got to go now.” and left and went back into my dorm. O_O Awkward!!
December 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm
sorry for this really awkward story, not a funny awkward:
i was sitting in starbucks the other day. and a guy that me and my friends were talking to randomly, brings up the topic of crackheads and heroin addicts. then he says “oh i know the difference cz my mom used to be a crackhead.” (long awkward silence) so then the guy keeps going about the differences and starts talking about how his mom used to smoke crack. so my friends says,” oh thats so sad. is she still using?”
guy: “my moms dead” (awkwaaaaaaaaaard.)