First, an introduction. Awkward Turtle, this is the World. World, meet Awkward Turtle!
In the past several months here at Wong Fu Productions we’ve been secretly busy at work to make our vision of The Awkward Turtle a reality. Like very proud parents we are very pleased with the end result! Pre-order starts Dec 9th *updated* and we hope to have it available for sale on Dec 14th! *updated* Dec 14 – Awkward Turtle is now available for sale! Still enough time for those who need a last minute Holiday gift. We’ll be releasing more photos and information about The Awkward Turtle in future blog posts.
*update!* Awkward Turtle now available for Sale! Shipping has started! Follow this link
The Awkward Turtle Contest: The contest has ended, winners can be found here (link)
We are giving away 3 Awkward Turtles to the awkward moments that we (Wes, Phil and Ted) think are the awkwardest. If we like your story we might even shoot a reenactment!
Here’s what you do:
Tell us your most awkward moment! (make sure it’s something that actually happened to you because everything is funnier when it’s real)
More Instructions:
- Just reply to this post with your awkwardest moment and that’s it!
- Deadline to submit your entry is Dec 14th!
- Make sure you use a valid email address, because that’s how we’ll get in touch with you.
- All posts not part of the contest will be deleted.
Rules:
-
Limit to one paragraph or less (keep it short, no life stories or essays please)
- One entry per person
- Open to everyone
“Are you awkward, more awkwarder, the awkwardester…? Err. Let’s hear your stories!”
December 15, 2009 at 9:23 am
It was freshman year of highschool and I was walking into the cafe with my friend. We came into the lunchroom late so everyone else was already sitting down. We were right in the middle of the lunchroom by the table of all the uniformed football players when I slipped on ice that someone spilled and I hadn’t seen. I slipped and fell right into a football players lap. A SENIOR FOOTBALL PLAYER. Of course I shrieked like a hyena so everyone in the lunchroom got really quiet and just stared at me. It would’ve been okay if i just got up and laughed it off. But I was sort of in shock so I just sat there on his lap until he asked if I could get off so he could finish his lunch. -__________________-
December 14, 2009 at 11:41 pm
So my friends and I were eating noodles, one of my friends is a really messy eater and he was slurping and smacking away at his bowl. My other friend said, “Man, you eat messy.” He immediately looked up from his bowl, with a noodle dangling from his mouth and screamed, “That’s what she said!” I was like, “huh, I don’t get it?….” Then about 15 seconds later, “OH I GET IT…….ewwwwwwwwww!” There was then a period of awkward silence, awkward turtle! xD
December 14, 2009 at 11:30 pm
One day at lunch, I decided to go to Mcdonalds my friend and I started eatting and he looked at me and said i’m loving it and began slurping his coke very loudly, i smiled and i took a huge bite of my mcchicken and opened my mouth with bits and pieces of the Mcchicken in my mouth and said i’m loving it. We repeatedly did these very obnoxious “i’m loving it”. Right when we were about to leave i said hey wait one more, I threw a fry in the air and caught it and said “I’m loving it” and he responded by throwing a Mcdouble in the air. I was frighten since there was a worker was close to us when coming back from the rest room she was passing by us, and he caught part of the Mcdouble and the rest of it fell on the worker’s head. She was very angry at him and he apologized. I laughed at that moment for so long “i’m loving it” :]
December 14, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Once upon a time, there was a boy, Adam, and a girl, Serena, who were fated to meet, on Thanksgiving 2009, where we all (6 people; 3 girls, 3 guys) went to watch a movie, Ninja Assassin. After the movie, we had a long, heated discussion about how we were all getting home; 1 car, 6 people = not legal (please don’t ask how we all got there). Adam, and his brobro, Eric, were the only 2 not going back to the same place, so we offered them a ride home. But Adam insisted that his Mom was coming to get him, and he says, “since our parents said they were coming to get us, we will stay and wait because we are very…?” And the rest of us filled in the blank for him, “obedient?” “Yeah, that’s it.” Then Adam suggests to his brobro that he runs home. Eric gives him the, “wtf…you crazy?” kind of look, so Serena, being the awesome person that she is, offered to piggy back Adam to our car. Then Adam goes, “Whoa, hold on. How much do you weight?” Serena gives some answer, and Adam says, “I’m 185 pounds, HUGE! IT’S LIKE AN ELEPHANT ON SOMETHING A LOT SMALLER; A BOULDER ON A SNAIL!” Adam didn’t believe she could do it, so the girls made a bet with him. We couldn’t decide what to wager so we stood there, outside the cinema, at midnight, holding hands with Adam, with Serena in the middle, for a very, very long time. Then one of the girls suggested that loser pays for stake and lobster, and the bet was on. Serena assured him that she can carry his weight, because her previous job involved strenuous weight lifting. Adam then says, “lifting is with you arms and piggy backing is with your legs…how much do you squat? How much dead weight can you lift?” This threw us all into complete silence, and we stared at each other for a while. So about 15 mins have already passed since the beginning, and obviously Adam is trying to avoid this whole deal, and he’s staring into space. We ask what he’s doing, and he replies, “I’m trying to think myself lighter.” Serena then walks off the sidewalk and says, “here, I’ll give you some leverage. Please just climb on. DO NOT JUMP!” He refused, so Serena goes over to him, grabs his arms and throws them over her shoulder, but oh no! as she was about to throw him over her back, a blue Honda pulls up in front of us. Guess who it was? Tada! The mother, who caught Serena in her beloved, oldest, single son’s arms – HUGE misunderstanding. So Serena quickly flings down his arms and we walk our separate ways, saying a quick goodbye, with no eye contact. And then, as both our cars were heading home, we coincidentally pulled up next to each other at a red light, with Serena in the front passenger’s seat, and Adam’s mom in the other car, right next to her. We couldn’t look. Our car was trying to guess what Adam’s mom was asking him…”who’s that girl, and what intentions does she have with you?” haha. Luckily, the light wasn’t that long, and we were on our merry way home. [side note: Adam and Serena had just met a few hours earlier that night.]
December 14, 2009 at 10:16 pm
My roommate and I are very close friends and usually we can tell each other anything. So during this quarter, a guy has been majorly crushing on her & letting the whole world know about his feelings for her. Unfortunately for him, the feelings weren’t mutual, but he still was hanging around the room, wanting to cuddle with her. A couple of months past by and he was eventually growing on her. One night when we(my roommate, her crush & I) were studying in our room I called it a night & headed to bed. After sleeping for an hour, i wake up to some weird noises…it turns out my roommate & her crush cuddling had turned into a makeout session & I was their audience. Even worse was that my headphones broke on the same night, so I had no choice but to listen to *smooch*smooch*smooch* all night long!
awkward!!!
December 14, 2009 at 10:04 pm
During a camp counselor gettoknowandtrusteachotherbonding activity, we were given a physical challenge where I had to sit on another counselor’s shoulders in order to place an object in a very high spot without letting it touch anything else. I was scared I would fall and was very nervous as he lifted me. Once I maintained my balance on his shoulders, I felt safer. Just as I had successfully placed the object, he started to slowly bring me down, but I lost my balance on his shoulders. I couldn’t help it– when I lost my balance, I also lost control over my muscles I use to control my gases.
I let out a very loud, audible fart. While sitting on his shoulders.
December 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm
One time after a tiring day of NHS volunteering, my friends Nick and Jade and me went to a Chinese restaurant that was owned by some Chinese people. We were so used to the American way of treating customers, you know “customer is always right” that we overlooked the fact that we walked in 20 minutes before close. We ordered but when we were 5 minutes into our food one of the chinese waitresses asked us if we could leave because it was closing time. We were quite taken aback but that wasn’t the worst of it. We discovered that none of us had cash to pay (they only took cash) and so Nick volunteered to go to the ATM while me and Jade waited awkwardly for him to return. When he returned we were in a hurry to leave the restaurant and we threw down some dollars for tip to not see too cheap. As we were about to leave, Nick changed his mind turns around, and grabs a dollar or two back from the tip as Jade and gawk in disbelief….because the waitress was right behind him. O__O needless to say, we labeled that restaurant that forbidden restaurant. We got a lot of stares when we left :/
December 14, 2009 at 9:30 pm
My family decided to go out to PF Changs with another family to eat dinner one day. This was back when I was 15 and I found this to be one of the most awkward moments ever (and still do). It doesn’t help that I see this family a couple times a year…
So the other family had a little boy, he was about 3 or 4 years old and real cute (as all asian babies are :]) We finished our meal and I got up to go to the bathroom. The little boy also wanted to go to the bathroom, so his dad got up also to go. I followed him to the bathroom area where we would separate to go to a girls bathroom or a guys bathroom. Right before I stepped into to the girls bathroom a women behind me said,
“Aww, your son is so cute! Are you his mother?” (I understand it is quite plausible because I was tall for my age, and the boy was talking to me on the way to the bathroom :/ )
I stood there awkwardly for a couple seconds and then blurted out,
“No, no, no…I’m 15…” and she laughed like it was nothing. (keep in mind i was barely a teen…)
She said, “so what, I was just wondering hahaha.” …
The kid’s dad was in front of me and already heading into the bathroom, so I don’t know if he heard. But I was so traumatized for the rest of the time we spent in the restaurant…I avoided eye contact…and yeah….
December 14, 2009 at 9:09 pm
*This story has bee slight modified due to length. Names have been changed including my own
. All this has been done on requests for privacy’s sake.
This story is kinda more sad then awkward, but it felt … really awkward.
I was in ‘foreign country’ for a school trip with about 10+ classmates.
We’re in town shopping around and I’m with this one girl. So we were looking around at shops and I secretly wanted to ask her to prom and I didn’t really know how. So after about an hour of going from shop to shop and I finally …
Me: so do u have a prom date yet?
sally: hum? no not yet
me: oh soooo .. would you go to prom with me?
sally: huh wait me and you?
me: uhh yea haha.
sally: uhhh… can i think about it?
me: hum sure…
sallly: ok…
silence….
And thus a awkward silence arose. But it gets worse after about 2 minutes…
Sally: Hey, do u kno where we are
Me: hum.. no, I kinda just kept walking.
Sally: oh my goodness! we’re lost!
Me: hum…
Sally: this is so awkward…
Me: it’s not awkward if you say yes
She looks at me, hit me and we keep walking in silence for ten minutes till we found our hotel. Once there I walked up to my room and she took the elevator….
Awkward
The End
December 14, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Today,
I was on a bus driving back after a field trip. My friends and I, bored, decided to have a drinking contest, and I claimed glorious victory. But we had forgotten that this was a five hour drive. Two hours in, the bumpy motion of the uneven roads made swishing noises in my bladder. Three hours in, I could not take my mind off my near-to-exploding bladder. Four hours in, I clamped my legs together, knowing that if I separated them, all the water would pour out. When we got back, I could barely walk. Pushing past everyone, I wobbled as fast as I could into the nearest building and at the door to the female bathroom… only to realize that it was locked. I looked around desperately, and saw the light spilling through the crack under the door to the male bathroom. Without a second thought, I charged through the doors and into a toilet stall. The boys at the urinals stared at me in shock.
December 14, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I was six when I had lunch in the cafeteria for the first time. It was the first time I had had a “hot” lunch (meaning a lunch fresh from the kitchen at our school) and it was probably one of the largest slices of pizza I’ve had up until that time. It was probably also one of the greasiest, and being one of those kids who liked to have clean hands 24/7, I felt a very strong urge to wash my hands. I looked over my shoulder at where the girls’ and boys’ rooms were, just right next to each other, got up and walked smoothly into the left door. It was my first time using the cafeteria bathroom, and I didn’t want to look like a newbie so I didn’t spend much time looking around too much. But while I washed my hands, I noticed a urinal through the mirror and thought to myself “What’s that?” I was interrupted by a boy who came out of a stall. I cooly said, “Hey,” to which he responded, “What are you doing in here?” I said, “I’m washing my hands, duhhh.” And he says, “You know this is the boy’s bathroom, right?” Being in the self-conscious state I was already in to begin with, I quickly said, “So?” with a raised eyebrow and continued on with my business. It wasn’t until he walked out that the weight of his words hit me… And that is how I discovered the world of men’s restrooms.
December 14, 2009 at 8:06 pm
My friend and I volunteer at our local hospital every weekend, and there’s this guy that works in the Emergency Room that we think is really cute. One day, we saw that he was walking in through the back door, where we just happened to be running errands. I though it’d be funny to blow kisses at him (he was faced the other way) as he walked through the doors, and I completely forgot that there was a camera right above me filming everything and the security guard through the doors (which had windows) could see everything! We saw him motion the cute guy over, and I think he told him what happened. Of course, we ran away from there before he finished telling him, but now, every time we see the cute guy, he gives us a weird look.
December 14, 2009 at 7:46 pm
So, a few months ago my friends and I went out to see a movie. After seeing it, we decided to go to Perkins, since it was nearby. As we were walking to our table, I noticed this guy standing in his seat. I did a double-take because he looked familiar. When we sat down, I spent about two minutes staring through the glass divider to see if I really knew this guy. And I did! Coincidentally, he was a friend that I had a crush on a few months back. I had confessed to him and had moved on. I told my two friends (who already knew about him), but seemed to completely forget about how the guy and I were just friends now, and threatened to talk to him for me (they don’t really ‘know’ him). But the rest my friends at the table had no idea what was happening. So, a friend and I pretended to use the restroom and I was hoping so much that he was gone, but he wasn’t and was still paying for his food! I just stood still when we first made eye contact. It was a very awkward conversation that went nowhere, because we don’t go to the same school and never see each other. Our only form of contact was facebook, which we’re never on at the same time. Somehow I thought it was a good idea to leave in the middle of the conversation before he and his friends left. I went back to the table and was questioned a lot. I spent the rest of the night trying to avoid the subject by saying random strange things. Also, earlier at the theatre, I saw his brother who avoided me. And apparently, I was ‘stalking’ his family that night.
December 14, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I was hanging out with a few of my girlfriends at one of their houses, and I was leaning against one of those giant bean bag chairs as was one of my friends. As we were all chatting, I suddenly feel my friend getting a lot closer to me and the conversation gradually slows to a stop. At that point, I paused and asked my friend, “Are you spooning me…?” She answered, “..Yes,” and continues to stay there. Everyone else is exchanging awkward glances with me and each other for a good 10 seconds until I slowly squirm away and let my friend have the bean bag chair all to herself.
December 14, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I hate long road trips. Especially the ones that take 12 hours or more because you sometimes get the urge to go to the bathroom and then you realize that you’re in the middle of nowhere. So during the summer, my family and I was driving down to Alabama to visit some family and suddenly had to urge to pee. My dad drove about another 20 miles before we found a gas station and stopped since we needed gas anyways. As we were pulling up to the gas station, I saw a scary strong looking woman standing next to two motorcycles, pumping gas. It seemed irrelevant at the time, but as I ran into the store looking for the bathroom I realized why there was another motorcycle there. As I opened the door, a man was sitting there and looked up as the door opened. The awkward thing about it was that i stood there for a good few seconds before realizing that it was my mistake. I quickly ran out, running into my dad in the process and ran across the street to Wendy’s and used their bathroom. As I came out of Wendy’s I saw the man leaving with the scary looking woman earlier and paused at the door to wait for them to leave. The man must have seen me because he glanced towards Wendy’s while he drove away…. I told my family the story and they made fun of me the rest of the trip, laughing at my stupidity. My dad realized that the man just stared at him as they passed each other in the store because of me. So next time I use the bathroom at a gas station, I have to make sure to knock on the door because it isn’t always guaranteed that some people will lock their doors while in the bathroom.
December 14, 2009 at 7:08 pm
It happened during my freshman year of college; I was racing my friend on our bikes to the dorms, and I was ahead. Then as I biked next to a buliding, some guy suddenly swings the door open. Before I could think, I crashed into it. I flew off my bike and slid on the gravel. Out of nowhere there was a crowd of guys surrounding me and asking me if I was okay or needed help. I didn’t know what to do and because I was in a lot of pain, I wanted them to leave me alone because my accident was so lame ! I just told them “I’m fine I’m fine,” and after a few minutes they dispersed. My friend who I had been racing came up to me and asked if I was okay. I screamed “NO.” Then he offered to carry me! I was still pissed off so I said, “Don’t touch me! I’m in pain.” By the time we got back upstairs I started complaining about how he didn’t help me walk up the stairs. I know, I am a ironic person…
December 14, 2009 at 6:56 pm
yay okay so i finally remembered a story. but i’m kinda bad at story telling… anyways!
I was at physical therapy talking to my therapist/ doing my exercise. Then my therapist had to go do something, so when it was time for me to switch exercises, another therapist had to help me switch the weight thingies. When he returned, she left, and he said something as she walked away: “something something (cuz i don’t remember what he said but it’s not important), Mona.”
So I go: Ohh.. her name is Mona?
Then he says: Yup
Then I’m like: Cool… My name is Lisa…
He looks at me oddly. So I’m thinking ahhh he doesn’t get it and had to say Mona. Lisa. HARHARHARHARR
But he laughed and said it was funny (whether or not he really thought it was funny, i’m not sure) and told Mona and she laughed too. Then he called me Mona Lisa the rest of the therapy session.
Maybe this is more corny than awkward though… hehe
December 14, 2009 at 6:41 pm
in my girls pe class my friend and i were walking to the locker room soo after we finished my class was walking to the gym but i was waiting for my friend at the locker room door and when i was waiting ppl were saying hi to me like “hii jedi” or “wsup jedi” then i would reply. My friend finally got out of the locker room and this 7th grader behind her came up to me in like a valley girl voice and said ” why do ppl call you jedi?” then i looked at my friend with a face saying is she serious???? and i replied in an obvious voice saying ” ummm bc thats my name”, and in her valley girl/high pitch she said ” OOOOOOOO okay” and walked away. (real name is jedaiel but nickname is jedi)
December 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I go to an all girls school, which makes me SO awkward around guys. -_- I don’t have that many guy friends, but last year, for Junior prom, I was on the committee (forced on the committee) so I was also FORCED to go to prom. I didn’t have a date, so my friends persuaded me to ask this one friend. I had a crush on him at the time, but he’s 2 years younger than me, making him a freshman at the time. D:
Well, my “matchmaker” friend, who’s the silliest guy ever, thought it was a GREAT idea that I make a turtle at Build-A-Bear, a turtle to be specific, and name it Doc Awk. The recording? “Hey ____. Would it be awkward if you went to prom with me?”
I had to go to his school, during his key club meeting, and we “raffled” off the turtle.
The worst part…? He wouldn’t press the recording, and I had to press it for him, in front of so many people… And… that day happened to be the day that most people decided to show up for key club. Everyone thought it was so exciting, and videotaped it on their camera phones, and to the internet it went!
Did I mention he didn’t even want to walk up to the front of the room, because he figured out that I was gonna ask him?! D:
Lol. and the best part? His reply…?
“Okay….??”
December 14, 2009 at 5:50 pm
A woman came into the picture frame shop where I work and put an old photo on the counter.
“We had a death in the family and I would like this framed,” she told me.
“I am so sorry,” I said while patting her hand. “When did he pass on?”
“That’s my MOTHER,” she replied coldly.
…oops….
December 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I had just turned 18 and had gone out with some friends one night, We got into some trouble and i got thrown in Jail while my other friends went to Juvee. Well while in jail they put me in a cell with 6 people. Me the only asian 2 white guys and the rest were black guys. They had bunk beds and I had to sleep above a big black guy. He was probably 6 feet and easy 300lbs. Well during the night I heard some noises below me. The dude was farting in his sleep. Not only were they noisy but the God awful smell, i can picture the jail food we had just ate rising up to me in fumes. Did i say anything to the big black man? Hec no! I sufferred through the whole night. AWKWARD FROG thats my story!
December 14, 2009 at 4:19 pm
When I was in the 7th grade, I really liked this girl and wanted to ask her out. I couldn’t figure out how to do it so my friends convinced me to ask her while we were all ice skating. After I mustered enough courage, I skated by her and just simply asked “hey…so, would you go out with me?” However, I ended up slipping mid-question and falling in front of her as I asked. She just continued skating. As I laid on the ground, I realized all my friends were watching it as it happened.
December 14, 2009 at 4:08 pm
As a requirement to pass my freshmen seminar class, I had to go out and perform six hours of community service. I decided that volunteering at a homeless shelter for women wasn’t such a bad idea but) I ended up being the only guy in a group about eight girls from my university. The coordinators didn’t really have anything for us to do so she just asked us to sit in on an HIV/AIDs seminar + testing. During the seminar, the lady asked the group of us if we need how to practice safe sex and naturally we, all college students, replied yes. She apparently didn’t think this was enough and decided to ask me “So, do you know how to put on a condom?” and I simply replied yes. Then she goes and asks me “could you explain to the group how to put on one?” I gave her a look like “are you serious?” as my classmates started giggling uncontrollably. “Step by step. It’s okay if you don’t know how too” I was unable to bring myself to explain out loud(even though everyone decided to whisper me answers) and instead opted for her to demonstrate using her friend “Woody” It was way worse when the homeless women decided to approach my afterwards to ask how that felt. Awkward turtle.
December 14, 2009 at 4:08 pm
As a requirement to pass my freshmen seminar class, I had to go out and perform six hours of community service. I decided that volunteering at a homeless shelter for women wasn’t such a bad idea but) I ended up being the only guy in a group about eight girls from my university. The coordinators didn’t really have anything for us to do so she just asked us to sit in on an HIV/AIDs seminar + testing. During the seminar, the lady asked the group of us if we need how to practice safe sex and naturally we, all college students, replied yes. She apparently didn’t think this was enough and decided to ask me “So, do you know how to put on a condom?” and I simply replied yes. Then she goes and asks me “could you explain to the group how to put on one?” I gave her a look like “are you serious?” as my classmates started giggling uncontrollably. “Step by step. It’s okay if you don’t know how too” I was unable to bring myself to explain out loud and instead opted for her to demonstrate using her friend “Woody” It was way worse when the homeless women decided to approach my afterwards to ask how that felt. Awkward turtle.
December 14, 2009 at 11:58 am
AWKWARD TURTLE IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE. There’s not a day I go without using “Awkward turtle”.
I use it on a day to day basis. aha, since of course awkward is my middle name.
Well I remember this one time I was very young, around 7 or so. I just got out of church and there was this massive crowd of people, I couldn’t find my dad so I started talking to my mom. I was telling her how cool this church was for having a play ground. So then I draped my arm around her and started to walk with her to the car. When I turned around to look at her face, I saw that she WAS NOT my mom. ): It was so awkward and embarrassing, I ALMOST CRIED. I apologized to the lady and quickly ran away. I turned around and there were my parents laughing their butts off at my mistake. I totally thought that lady was my mom! They were about the same height and they were wearing the same colored shirt. AND I could have SWORN that my mom was next to me. The lady’s daughter however had this look on her face like “WHO THE HECK IS THIS GIRL?!” Gosh I wanted to run home and hide under my bedsheets ): it was such an “Awkward tutrle” moment.
July 5, 2010 at 12:46 pm
OHH that reminds me of the time when i was about 4 and in a restaurant. i was being chased around.. then i saw my dad’s legs and i’m thinking “SAFETY!!”
not so much. i hug the person’s pants, thinking my cousins won’t chase me anymore if i’m with my dad.. then i look up and i think.. oops, that’s not daddy.
December 14, 2009 at 10:16 am
Today at lunch time, my girlfriend and I placed our belongings on a lunch table at our campus center which is usually flooded with students during lunch hours. We left to order food at the sandwich station. I got my food first so I returned back to our table….until I found another girl sitting there. I looked at her, and she looked at me–she didn’t budge. I sat down at the table and began eating. There was no conversation. A fly buzzed by our food and eventually my girlfriend returned. She eyed me far away asking me ‘Do you know that girl’ nudging her head towards that girls direction. I shrugged my shoulders indicating I didn’t. We all ate our food for at least 20 mins until the girl got her stuff and left….. AWKWARD!
December 14, 2009 at 9:38 am
I was at Barnes & Noble the other day, trying to get my ridiculous amount of homework done over the weekend. I don’t usually go there to do homework, so it was a rare occasion. While doing my homework, I was listening to my iPod. Now I love listening to music because it feels comfortable and it’s kind of my second home.
Important fact: I openly fart without shame only when I’m at home.
And guess what? I ate some meaty and buttery pasta before I went to the bookstore…
So here I am, sitting along in a small table at the bookstore cafe, lost in my homework and music. Yes, I definitely let my gas out without shame. I couldn’t really tell how loud my farts were because my iPod volume was pretty high. By the way, I fart A LOT too. They come in huge bubbles and didn’t stop for a good thirty minutes.
But it doesn’t end there.
You know what people always do in their showers right? They sing. I was feeling pretty great, so I started singing to whatever song was on my iPod. If you look at my music, you’ll notice that the vocal range is ridiculously high for guys. (Look up Chiodos, Circa Survive, or Secret & Whisper).
Imagine yourself sitting at another table. The place is semi-packed, and you’re watching an 18 year old guy farting profusely and singing (which sounded like I was whining).
This wasn’t awkward for me at all…until I packed up my stuff to leave and took off my earphones. That’s when I noticed how quiet it was…..
I’ve been avoiding that bookstore ever since.
December 14, 2009 at 9:02 am
Here’s from Korea!
This happened back in high school on Sunday morning. It was freezing cold winter and I was waiting for a bus to go to friend’s house. But the bus never came and I just hoped it showed up soon. And there was a guy waiting for the bus, too. By that moment, I saw a bill, worth about $13~15(of course that was the Korean bill), on the street. It was not huge money, but it was not that small to just leave behind, especially for me, teenager at that time. I wanted to pick it up, but the only problem was “the guy” waiting for the bus cuz’ he also seemed like to want to pick it up. The money was between us, and I was hesitating to pick it or not. By then, he started approaching the money, and I didn’t wanted to be beaten by him. sort of. haha. So I moved quickly toward the money, and!! I slipped and fell on the slippery street!! I couldn’t get up right away and I only raised my head and he snatched the bill in front of my face. It was really fast, and when I raised my head, he looked in my eyes. It was only a second, but that moment, that second i felt really awkward and embarrassed. That was really the awkward moment.
The funny thing was that after he picked that money, he grumbled and threw it away. And I quickly saw it on the street(this time I didn’t pick it up, I’m not crazy) and it turned out that was not the money. That was the commercial flyer of a store recently opened. The flyer was exactly the same size with the bill and it had a money-printed side and advertisement on the other side. Very smart ads!
December 14, 2009 at 8:46 am
So, ever since this contest started, I’ve been trying to think of an epic awkward moment to publish. And throughout his whole time, I’ve come up with nothing. I’ve realized that I’ve never had any epic awkward moments.
But I have had plenty of small awkward moments that if added all up, would exceed the awkwardness of an epic awkward moment. I’d list them all, but the rules say no life stories.
I hope this counts.
December 14, 2009 at 7:01 am
This just happened and so it happens to be on the same day as the deadline of the awkward turtle, so I thought I’d share this..
The most awkward time to be in is telling the girl you like your feelings you have for them in front of the guy they like.
How could this be awkward?
I’ve been trying to build up the courage to this girl I like for quite a long time (3-4weeks), the reason I have not been able to tell her how I feel is because when I realised I liked her, she happen to tell me she liked another guy. So i’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to tell her.
Throughout this 3-4 weeks we still talk like normal and she would always tell me her problems and I’d be there to listen to her rant about her problems (usually around 2-5am about once a week).. talk about the problems she thinks shes having with the guy she likes, the reasons why she don’t want to be with him yet etc.
When I have finally built up the courage, I went to her room to tell her how I felt about her, was the exact same day the other guy asked her to be her girlfriend and just happen to be in the same room and same time..
Now this was awkward…
December 14, 2009 at 1:31 am
College promotes a big emphasis on a great education. Next to this powerful message it also informs students how to party safely and how to have safe sex. As a joke to my innocent Asian friend, I decided to give her condoms for her 18th birthday. So, I went to the health center and bought condoms for 15 cents each. When my roommates found out they laughed at me for paying for them cause one can get them free at the love lab. So one day, my friends decided to be funny and got some free condoms and hid them around the room for me to find. When I went home for the weekend, my mom was doing my laundry and found a “hidden” condom in one of my pant’s pocket. My mom didn’t find the humor in this discovery. Needless to say, it led to an awkward confrontation.
December 13, 2009 at 11:49 pm
One fateful night, I turned on the television to cure my boredom. Surfing through the channels, I came upon the movie My Super Ex-Girlfriend. I have never seen it before, so kept it on that channel and sat back. In the middle of the movie, my mother came into the room to grab something and my natural response was to turn and say hi. But when I glanced at her face, i saw that it was intently focused on the tv. Then I heard a certain grunting noise from the tv. I turned back towards the television screen, and discovered that the movie had some..intense sexual content. Hoping to ease the tension a little, I said over the volume of the tv, “Look Mommy! They’re having sex.”
My mother gave me a little smile, made herself comfortable on the seat next to me, and stayed for remainder of the movie. And I apologize for being a spoiler to the plot, but the ending had some intense sex in it too.
Note to self: Unless it is an animated movie or a movie I’ve watched before, don’t watch it around family within earshot.
December 13, 2009 at 11:38 pm
I was talking to my a group of friends (including guys) and I wanted to check the time so I pulled out my cell phone. However, I forgot that I had put a pad in my pocket earlier so instead of pulling out my phone, I pulled out a pad…….
December 13, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Work is always awkward for some reason, or atleast, awkward things happen to me a lot there. I work at a doctor’s office and about 80% of our patients are geriatric. I do the question the patient in a room before the doctor sees him deal. One day I had a patient in there and the first thing he says to me is “You’re not from Mexico.” and then he started saying random words in Vietnamese to me.. like “hello” and “i’m sorry”. He then kept complimenting me on my appearance and kept asking me for a hug. He noticed a ring on my finger and went off on how lucky my “hubby” was and to tell him so. He would not leave the room and kept standing there with his arms out for a hug and getting frustrated I wouldn’t give him one. Awkward. Then, another patient in his late 60′s would sit there and hide his phone behind a magazine texting while I was questioning him… Actually, I just found this amusing and endearing for some reason. He didn’t pay much attention to me and the questions, too busy texting. Another day I was having a conversation with the doctor’s wife and he came over, used my shoulder as a support and kissed her while I was standing in between them… horribly awkward. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of how red I turned.. lol.. the list goes on, but I suppose that gets the point across ;P
December 13, 2009 at 10:51 pm
My most memorable awkward moment was the first time I met Wesley Chan of Wongfu Productions.
I was in Boston for an audition, and after went to Super 88 to get some food with friends. And all of sudden I saw a person who looked oddly familiar to Wes Chan from Wongfu walk by me. I wanted to see if it was really Wesley Chan, and even asked my friends if it was him. They didn’t know who he was so, I tried to inconspicuously walk towards the table where this Wes-maybe-look-a-like was sitting. It turns out he was with his family, and I believed from the view I got from this person it was definitely Wes. It took a couple of tries to try and see his face without looking like a creeper. I think his family noticed me though and thought I was some sort of stalker. But I watched enough Wongfu Videos to know that was Wes. Then, I turned into Fan-girl mode and started to Spazz out to my friends. I started and kept staring and talking to my friends about Wongfu. My friends didn’t know who he was decided to get a table right next to him. I kept on spitting out Wongfu Facts and how awesome they were. All of a sudden, another person came in and bluntly said to Wes “Whoa, WONGFU!” and Wes kindly smile and said “Hi” and said he’ll come over and talk to us in a bit, staring at me because he KNEW I was his fan.
Where’s the awkward -ness?
The fact that I didn’t have the guts to say “Hello” to him but instead walked towards, stared, and talked about him until he came over because of my awkward/shy-ness.
It may not be the most awkward, but it made me turn red. Haha But, Hey what can I say, I was a bit star struck.
December 13, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I’m a class officer for my high school and our job is basically to fund raise money for prom and grad night and all that good stuff. One day after school we had an adviser meeting to brainstorm ideas for our next fundraiser and my phone goes off with the ring tone that I set as a joke. The ring tone was “f_ck your man by tila tequila” and my english teacher/adviser heard it loud and clear.
December 13, 2009 at 10:40 pm
So it was freshman year of high school and our school winter formal dance was coming up. I was pretty excited because we were finally old enough to go. There was this new girl that came to our school that year. I used to talk to her for a while a couple of years back, but we hadn’t talked since. as i was thinking of a date for the dance, i asked myself why not, i’ll just ask her. it was a kinda awkward month, trying to get to know her again. but i decide to go ahead and ask her on the the last day of school before our winter break and there was this christmas party with a couple of friends. what a perfect time to ask. i went out and bought ice breakers and flowers and a polar bear to prep up. i was tripping out the whole night hoping she would say yes. so here was the plan: have the polar bear and ice breakers sitting by the fire with a card that had this intricate story basically about how the polar bear needed something to break the ice and blahblahblah. then i would pop out and ask her with flowers. when the time came, everything went according to plan, except… she kinda said no. in a nice way of course though. being me, i didnt know what to say so i asked her about 5 more times if she was sure and yea, she said she was sure. i actually still dont know why she said no! but the rest of the night, it was pretty quiet except for people trying to comfort me LOL. back then it was pretty awkward, but we’re still chill with each other now. the funny thing was the next year when we had the same christmas party at the same house, i guess no one took home the polar bear and it was still there and when we saw it we were pretty much like o.o and covered it up somehow i forgot. mm but i wonder what happened to the awkward polar bear after that..?
December 13, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Friend: Wow, who’s that asian chick? She’s hot.
Me: O__o
Other Friend: That’s my friend, she’s a guy.
Friend: WHAT???
Other Friend: He’s Korean.
-AWKWARD
December 13, 2009 at 9:48 pm
So, I’m a very ticklish person, VERY ticklish. And people love to come up behind me an poke me on my side because I, basically, squeek really loudly and they think it’s funny. So, it was the end of our Christian fellowship meeting and I was hanging around and chatting with a few friends on the steps about random stuff. My friend comes up behind me and pokes me really hard on my side. I get really scared, squeek REALLY loud, trip over my feet while turning around and almost fall down the stairs. The only thing that stopped me was my friend grabbing my arm and me grabbing the railing next to me. But I squeeked so loud that most of the people in the lecture hall (which there were a lot of people still because the meeting just ended) stopped what they were doing and turned around to where I was. I felt like it got so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. I knew that my face was so red and my friends were cracking up besides me. After that I’m always cautious of who’s behind me. However, it never fails and someone will find another chance to poke me on my side (another day, another time, another place) and get the joy of watching and listening to me squeek and get scared. And every time… I feel very awkward… like the awkward turtle.
December 13, 2009 at 9:22 pm
So after school I went to use the bathroom by the tennis courts before practice. Thinking that no one else was there, I ran around kicking open all the bathroom doors, just for kicks. haha get it kicks, kicking, oh aren’t i punny.
Anyways, I got to the last stall which was one of the bigger ones and kicked it open, only to find myself staring at another girl on my sports team. AWKWARDTURTLE >__________< All I could say was WHUPSORRY and I ran out…and then realized I never closed the door for her haha. epicfail.
December 13, 2009 at 9:01 pm
This happened my first year in college. I was in a dorm with two roommates. I’ll name them “A” and “B.” “A” and I went to a party and ended up coming back until 3:00 AM. We assumed “B” was sleeping, so we quietly unlocked the door and walked in. We saw “B” making out with her boyfriend on my chair. Why?! No idea. Everyone stopped and stared at each other. “A” and I turned around and walked right back out …
The next day, I was sitting on my chair and “B” comes up to me and says “Don’t worry, there are no stains …”
December 13, 2009 at 9:00 pm
During my freshman year of college I decided to visit my friend Kristin at JMU for Halloween. When I got there I had thought I was going to sleep in the lounge of her dorm, but her roommate was nice enough to let me use her bed. So we went out that night and hung out with some of Kristin’s friends, played wii, connect four, etc. We got back to Kristin’s room and I fell asleep around 4 in the morning. When I finally was asleep I had a weird dream where my friend’s roommate was threatening to kill me for walking in on her naked. I bolted awake right before she did any real harm. The first thing I saw was her roommate half naked getting dressed after taking a shower. I immediately hid under the covers and until the time I had to leave I hoped I wouldn’t have to run into her again. I still have no idea if she saw me or not -.-
December 13, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Yeah, so my awkward turtle story isn’t really very epic.
But I’m a very awkward person, not even kidding. They don’t call me awkwardaddie for nothing.
So sometimes when I walk down the hallways at school, I used to like to swing my arms. The hallways at school are super crowded and I can never tell when someone is coming up behind me. So I guess one time I was swinging my arms and walking down the hallway minding my own business and a guy starts walking behind me. It just so happens that my hand is right at the same level at a certain uh, male body part. So I guess I accidentally swung and hit the guy behind me, uh, around that area. Er, well almost. But it was still pretty freaking awkward. And that’s why I shove my hands in my jacket pockets now at school. No more swinging.
The same thing also happens sometimes at swimming practice too. Sometimes when I’m doing backstroke, I’ll hit someone in the next lane over. And I won’t know what I hit…-_____-
Yeah. My life is made up of miniawkwardmoments.
December 13, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Among my friends, I swear I am the most awkward and embarrassing person they have ever met, and possibly will ever meet.
The following story is quite possibly 1st on my awkward stories list, and 2nd on my embarrassing stories list.
It was exam period at University, and me being in my second year was still fairly worried about my marks. As usual, I was cramming crazily in the library.
I need to go to the bathroom so I packed my my things and headed over to the closest one. There were three cubicles and I immediately to the middle one and upon walking in, I glanced at the bowl and stopped.
There was a huge, and I repeat HUGE (STOP READING IF YOU HAVE A DELICATE STOMACH) sausage of poo. Now, you might have seen big poo, but this was spectacularly large –to the point that I stared at it for a good five seconds, wondering if it was real.
I decided it wasn’t, it couldn’t possibly be –it absolutely HAD to be a prank poo. So I walked over, and peered into the bowl. (Yes I peered –leant in and everything.) I even sniffed, because I thought real poo would smell –it didn’t –but it certainly looked real. I decided I was being stupid, who cared if it was real or not yeh?
I needed to pee, and it was in my way –so I flushed it.
Then it happened. A rush of water poured down and rose UP. Yes, up! It flooded the bowl, rising in all its bubbling glory –and I was so terrified all I could do was stare at it –until it started to brim at the very top of the bowl and the thought, “SH**! My shoes!!!” popped into my head and I backed out of the cubicle as far as I could go. I stared at this flooded bowl, where the water had just stopped at the very top, brimming so that it sat above the toilet seat –you know, like the foam of a cappuccino and thought, ‘Oh crap.’
There was no one else there (thankfully) so I went outside –no cleaner. ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘I have to tell someone –wait, I can’t –what if they think it was MY poo?!’ So I headed up stairs and out of the library, determined not to tell anyone. I crossed the road, and then, all these irrational thoughts started coming up. ‘What if it was a psychology experiment? What if it was all a part of some secret exam? Oh God, what if I get marks deducted? I have left my fingerprints on the flush button –they’re going to think it’s my poo!!!’
So I went back to the library, walked up to the info desk and said to the lady.
‘Uh hi, this is going to sound really weird but…downstairs, the toilet is blocked, like overflowing blocked.’
Lady: ‘Oh that’s okay. Thanks for telling us –we need to let the cleaners know.’
Me: ‘Oh okay.’ –I start to walk away, but then, I turn back and say, “But, you know, I didn’t do it.”
The lady smiles, “I know, that’s okay.”
“No really, it wasn’t me.”
“That’s fine, no problem.”
“As in, you know, it wasn’t my…” I trail off, and we sort of stare at each other for a bit.
And then I leave.
LOL.
Can’t believe it? Don’t blame you, haha. My friends wouldn’t if they didn’t know me. Heck, if it didn’t happen to me, I wouldn’t believe it. But it’s true –and dammit, isn’t it a great story? LOL xD
December 13, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I summarized it lol
Among my friends, I swear I am the most awkward and embarrassing person they have ever met, and possibly will ever meet.
The following story is quite possibly 1st on my awkward stories list, and 2nd on my embarrassing stories list.
It was exam period at University, and me being in my second year was still fairly worried about my marks. As usual, I was cramming crazily in the library.
I need to go to the bathroom so I packed my my things and headed over to the closest one. There were three cubicles and I immediately to the middle one and upon walking in, I glanced at the bowl and stopped.
There was a huge, and I repeat HUGE (STOP READING IF YOU HAVE A DELICATE STOMACH) sausage of poo. Now, you might have seen big poo, but this was spectacularly large –to the point that I stared at it for a good five seconds, wondering if it was real.
I decided I was being stupid, who cared if it was real or not yeh?
I needed to pee, and it was in my way –so I flushed it.
It flooded the bowl, rising in all its bubbling glory. I stared at this flooded bowl, where the water had just stopped at the very top, brimming so that it sat above the toilet seat –you know, like the foam of a cappuccino.
I left and wasn’t going to tell in case people thought it was…well, my poo, before I changed my mind and walked up to the info desk.
‘Uh hi, this is going to sound really weird but…downstairs, the toilet is blocked, like overflowing blocked.’
Lady: ‘Oh that’s okay. Thanks for telling us –we need to let the cleaners know.’
Me: ‘Oh okay.’ –I start to walk away, but then, I turn back and say, “But, you know, I didn’t do it.”
The lady smiles, “I know, that’s okay.”
“No really, it wasn’t me.”
“That’s fine, no problem.”
“As in, you know, it wasn’t my…” I trail off, and we sort of stare at each other for a bit.
And then I leave.
December 13, 2009 at 7:45 pm
One time when Me and my friends had an extra cup of frappacino .We were being nice girls and guys decided to find a homeless person during Thanksgiving and give them it. When we walked out of coffee shop and sat down on the bench and a homeless man came out of nowhere and started talking about how someone stole his shoes while he was sleeping. He later started talking about his feet how it hurt so much and that that he started to have blisters. He raise up his foot on the bench and showed it to us.Me and my other friend were just standing there looking to each other with a disgusting yet somewhat of a surprising face. We all had an awkward silence while listening to the homeless man talking about himself. Later we decided to offer him the frappacino but he declined and said ” I need a pack of cigs !. Do you guys have any ?! “, We said no and he asked for $.25 to buy a cigarette from someone. The whole conversation was awkward. We looked at each other when he was talking. But at least we were being nice and offered him something. We decided to leave the cup of frappacino on top of a newspaper box with a clean straw. That was my awkward Thanksgiving.
December 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm
As we look back at that time. We found it to be very hilarious. It was a good time we had and proud that we did something nice.
December 13, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Just last week, my guy friend came over in my dorm to hang out and do some homework. My dorm is like an all girls dorm so the guys are not allowed in the bathrooms. Our doors even have locks on them so only girls can get into them. But my guy friend… he couldn’t hold it in. All he had to do was go downstairs and use the bathroom there but he still couldn’t hold it in for that. So he begged me to use the girls bathroom and i keep an eye out outside. I am a sucker at saying no… so i let him use our bathroom and he made me stand guard outside. While he was doing his business, this girl starts coming down the hallway on the other side.. with pots and pans. The only place to wash dishes is the bathroom. So I’m like “crap! hurry up Michael, hurry up!”. I am freaking out and deciding whether or not to tell the girl to wait a second. Now the girl is like two doors down and finally my friend comes out. I call him stupid really loud to hide my awkward feeling and walk quickly back to my room… I didn’t even want to see that girls expression…
December 13, 2009 at 7:23 pm
My father owns a laundromat and occasionally I will go to the laundromat to help out. We do drop-off services for our customers and there is this frequent customer who comes to drop off his clothes for us to wash. Sometimes this person can be very busy and won’t have time to come and pick up his clothes so he would tell my father or whoever worked there that he will send his son to come pick up the clothes. I recognize who this man is but since I only work there whenever I have time, I never knew who his son is or how he looks. All I know is that he has a son. So one day this same man came to pick up his clothes. Few minutes later another person comes in saying “I’m here to pick up my clothes but I don’t have my ticket”. I said to him “Do you remember the color of your laundry bag?” He doesn’t know but he tells me that his father just came by not that long ago. The only man that came by not that long ago was that white guy who is a frequent customer of ours. This new person was a black guy. Turns out that this black guy is that white guy’s stepson. I felt like I was being racist because he was black and the person that just left was white. I said to the black guy “Oh, that guy was your father!” He says to me “Yeah, it can be a bit confusing because of the facial features”. Afterward, I apologized to the black guy so many times and I hope that I did not screw up the business because my comments may have cost the laundromat a customer.
December 13, 2009 at 7:08 pm
This is a butterfly twist, and I’m only adding this video to my post because I’m somewhat sure the wong fu cru doesn’t know what they are, and btwists have a pretty big part in my little story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATA5mtrC_ZE
It was a bright and sunny day out, so like every other person in my neighborhood; I couldn’t help but go out and have fun. But for me fun was to go tricking. At the time I didn’t have transportation, so I practiced on a dirt field next to my neighborhood playground. I decided to start practicing with butterfly twists, but in the middle of one of my butterfly twists, I noticed a cute squirrel and I’ve forgotten to land. I crashed into a position where my right leg will squish my balls in between my thighs, and as every guy knows, this hurts. As I lay in pain, rubbing and holding my balls, mothers with baby carriages passed by with dirty glares, a bus full of little kids staring out at me, girls giggling at me, and cars slowed down as they passed by. All I could do as I rubbed myself was give everybody that passed by awkward smile that was most obviously filled with pain.
December 13, 2009 at 4:31 pm
One day as I’m in class, I raise my hand to ask to go to the washroom
I leave the class and look for a stall thats empty/unlocked
i find one and open the door
only to find someone inside taking a #2 on the toilet
i apologize and awkwardly walk away
sooo i head for the urinal
and start doing my “business”/#1
and this guy comes up to me and ask
“Can I join”
i quickly say no and he moved to another stall
it became sooooo quiet after that
AWKWARD . . .
December 13, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I was talking to this girl i have liked for quite a while, and her and I are very close. I finally thought that i had her in my grasps until one day i was talking to her on oovoo and I told her that I liked her a lot, she told me that she didn’t like me at all and it would be better just to be friends. She then told me that the guy she liked is my best friend. And that they have been secretly going out for the past few months =.=